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Friday, March 03, 2006

timely

What the fuck is up with my obsession with time lately? It's like, I don't have any, so I'm getting all poetic about it? Stupid... self.

I just got into work, and I'm feeling... well, I'm actually not feeling much. My week was so busy that I barely did anything but try not to drown. Drown (by the smashing pumpkins) is my favorite song of all time. Everytime I say the word, I think of that angry, grinding feedback against that soft and melodic bass and drum backbeat... but not "bass and drum" cause this aint no rave...

I had a dream last night that all my plants died. I joke that because I can't have babies, and am too busy for a pet, plants are the only children I have. I wonder if that's somehow connecting to my dream.

My roommate has a hedgehog. Actually, it's his girlfriends, but 'Peanut' is staying with us this week. It's prickly, and apparently keeps biting Taylor, so now I'm afraid of it.

At some point, I'm going to have to say enough is enough... and just fart REALLY loud on the bus - in a specific and deliberate attempt to say "fuck you!" to all the bus riders that day. And I'm going to want it to be STINKY - an odor that stays with someone throughout the day. I want to be the guy that they go to their office and say "Man, some guy farted on the bus this morning, and I can STILL smell it!"

Why? Well... I hate it when I'm on the bus, and I have to hold onto an overhead bar - my arm falls asleep, and then I want to murder everyone. That happened today - so future bus riders will feel (and smell) my wrath, damn it!

As for the poetry thing - I'm going to elaborate a bit here. The teacher has talked with us about poetry, and interpreted works by Bukowski as a group. But he's never told us these different ways of looking at poetry. So when he interjected after my presentation, during the next girl's presentation, I got a little pissed off. He basically helped her get a better grade, while I just got comments on my paper that he never told us before.

We don't have a text book or anything, it's all class reading and discussion from books. Which is great - I am NOT complaining about that, but I feel slighted about this. He should've talked about this stuff before we even started reading.

And apparently I read poetry like Indiana Jones - I really and totally and honestly don't know what that means. Does it mean I sound like Harrison Ford? Is that a horrible thing? Are you only supposed to read poetry in some specific manner, and that manner is not mine? I guess I'm just looking at him like he's a literary snob now - someone that thinks we should just know this stuff, like it's common sense. Cause poetry is always sensical with deeper meanings not just about the author, but society and everything... Yea...

Roses are Red
Violets are blue
You're stupid
die!

Had I not memorized that one poem (which I'll write out below), I would have gotten an 89 - 1pt short of an A. I guess that's still good, but his comments were a little angering to me nonetheless. Here's the poem I memorized:

inside this box i put
my mother's things
false teeth
2 wedding rings
pictures of a beautiful youth
her worn-out couch and window gaze
a razor voice like mine
2 kitty-kats named Trouble and Harmony
75 clocks running backwards
some collector's plates of Oz
but there isn't any music
--Billy Corgan

I thought this was a cool poem - especially since I wrote that thing about clocks with time before. But I guess that's been done many times in cartoons and movies and all kinds of things - It's all about the idea of looking back and making the mundane and traumatic beautiful in some way, I guess.

Ah well... It's all in a days work. I might start my drum stuff this weekend out at my sisters house in Geneva - quite a hike, yes, but I need to get some of this stuff off my mind. The poetry I've been writing has been prepping me for writing lyrics, and I want to get some really cool songs made - or at least places to start from. It seems as though I'll make a song, and then I'll hate it. With my design work, I can step away from it and let others really get their fingers into it. With music, I don't know... Is it that personal to me that I just don't feel I can accurately portray what I want into it? Should I just become the D'Arcy/Kris Novaselic/left-handed-bassist that just plays along with whatever someone else writes? Perhaps I should restring my bass, and grow long blonde hair... Maybe a sex change is in order. If it works for D'Arcy and Kim Gordon, it can work for me, damnit!

Work time - later!

posted by grey as mike @ 8:34 AM

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