| Monday, February 19, 2007 |
| deceptivicality |
I don't know why I'm making up words - especially when they have almost nothing to do with anything I'm about to talk of.
Your comments are read and appreciated - As pressure is let out, things seem to cool down. This is a good thing.
I got a new printer, as my old one sucks. Note to you all out there - EPSON printer clog. They print nice, but they clog and basically render themselves useless fairly quickly. If you buy one, or get it free with the purchase of a computer - make sure you find out if there's another canon or HP that would, ya know... work.
V and I broke up - it's for the best. I'm too busy to deal with it right now, and I don't think sanity could be kept up for either of us in the path it was heading. This also helps me breathe a little more - no outside distraction. Of course, outside distraction is a good thing from time to time, but only when it's on my terms, and that wasn't always the case with V.
School is going well, but busy - i have a 7 spread (14page) article to print that's proving difficult. A wine label to get and mockup. A series of symbols to develop. A non-profit to work with and cultivate. And a portfolio/identity course to brush up on. Can't wait until I get an internship and everything goes to hell, lol... But it's all good. I'll be done in May and that's all that I care about :-).
yea.
xoxo |
posted by grey as mike @ 6:14 PM  |
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| Monday, February 12, 2007 |
| decompressionisticality |
I'm not myself lately.
I'm going through what can only be described as more than a mild depression, but not yet a full blown depression. It really sucks...
I think I go through this about this time every year, but this year feels different. It feels like I shouldn't have to go through this every year anymore, but I still am. What's worse is that it goes up and down. I'll be fine one minute, excitable even - then I'll just want to go home and sleep. It's affecting *JUST* about every facet of my day-to-day existence.
In the last month, I missed the Appleseed Cast and Kevin Devine because I was either too busy to even know they were here, or too busy worrying about other people. And there's another problem - I worry about what my friends will think and do if I don't constantly try and accomodate their lives. This isn't to say that I'm just SO in-demand, but I feel guilty if I can't make a party, or I'll hear about the time that I didn't go to this thing or that thing, and I'll hear about my shortcomings as a friend, and that sucks. I have such little freetime, and I feel like I can't even spend it on myself when I get it.
Truth be told, the last 2 weeks, I have been in 4 buildings - my house, my office, my school and my gym. Attempts to do otherwise have been anticipated failures. Self-fulfilling prophecy, maybe, but failures nonetheless.
I have a parade of ex's that keep rearing their head my way - but only in the most uninterested, condescending fashions possible. Reminders that when I back off, I lose, and when I'm too involved, I lose again. I like having someone there, but it's rarely that - because I can't be there all the time, and when I am these days, it's not fun for either of us, and I end up feeling like a jerk like - all the time.
Then there's the nagging question of where i fit into anything. I don't think I'm indie-rock enough to fit in with the indie-rockers. My lack of tattoo's and bohemian lifestyle kind of make me a sell-out for some reason. I'm not into clubs or dance music, so I don't really fit in with those guys. I'm not into sports much, so I don't really mesh with those guys. I don't have much money, so I don't mesh with the established 30-somethings. Instead, I go the route of being too many things all at once - lacking focus - boring. Too busy to go out and see the world, and as a result, add something to it.
And maybe that's the problem. I add nothing to anything. In some clicks, I'm good for a laugh and I'm good to hang around, but... I've added nothing to anything. from nothing to anything - that's a good song title... nah, it's not really.
Whatever the situation - I'm pretty close to being down for the count. Something needs to go right in the coming week to help me out here.
I guess that's all.
xoxo |
| posted by grey as mike @ 1:16 PM |
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| Thursday, February 08, 2007 |
| origins |
so in exactly one month, I will turn another year older. Woo-fucking-hoo. For those in the know, i hate my birthday - almost all the time and forever. It's a day where well-intentioned friends fail to pull things together and usually just piss me off, regardless of the good intention.
I simply do not have the energy or time to deal with it this year. It's also on a school night with a night class, so I'll be entrenched with a lovely amount of work that day.
I wrote the poem last week on the bus - it's interesting enough, but not my greatest work. Oh well.
My house is clean - for the first time in 5 months, i cleaned my house - room, living room, bathroom, kitchen - the whole deal. It feels good.
Alright, i have a lot to get done, so onto the REAL reason for this post.
PRINCE RULES!!! There is ABSOLUTELY no doubt in my mind that he is the greatest performer to ever live. That super bowl was a travesty for the Bears, but a golden moment for the shortest man to ever play a guitar so wonderfully. I wasn't so fond of those high healed dancing bitches, or that stupid head scarf thing, but man... purple rain is just one of the greatest songs ever. And just about EVERY time someone makes fun of him, it's hilarious.
Go out and buy all of his albums. Do it... DO IT!!!
xoxo |
| posted by grey as mike @ 9:17 AM |
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| Thursday, February 01, 2007 |
| Post Post Post Post Post Post Post |
Hey kids!
School started, so I've been a little out of the loop when it comes to blogging or really anything. My class load this semester is higher than normal... Coupled with my looking for an internship so I can just graduate in May instead of having to do summer school, my life is a chaotic mess right now. The last 2 weeks have been spent trying to wrap up old projects and get some order so that I will be able to handle the next 4 months with ease.
There's really not much else to report. I wrote this 'poem' on the bus last night. I am NOT a poet, nor do I want to be one. Sometimes I just write things like this - moreso as basis for something that could turn into cool lyrics - but this one is less lyrical than most, so I'll post it here for you guys. It's a bit somber - my apologies - but it's just what came into my head at 10:30pm last night as I was standing in single-digit weather waiting for a bus to go home.
I'm walking
Just out of class
Cross Congress - down State
to the bus
station.
I turn back to (hopefully)
see a bus
when a snowflake
on a clear night in
Chicago
falls into my
eye.
Blur.
I'm forced to leave my
autopilot aura
and think.
I want:
to play the drums more
to go to England and hang out
to be done with school
to get a on the non-existent bus I'm waiting for
to think at all times for myself
to feel emotions
to feel anything, really.
Life is short.
Mine will be shorter if I
stay this course.
I am:
a horrible friend
a horrible planner
a horrible son
a horrible boyfriend
a horrible boy.
Funny how a blurry
snowflake
makes your life
Crystal Clear.
So clear, you just wanna
cry.
But I don't do that...
Autopilot...
Autopilot...
Autopilot...
Autopilot... |
| posted by grey as mike @ 9:52 AM |
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